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How kind are you? Would you treat a billionaire different than your own family, friends, and neighbors? Take the Ted Turner Test and see!

Kindness isn't everything and lots of people and communities show very little of it and still get by, but it can bind a community together. This togetherness can be the start of a community support group necessary to instigate economic renewal.

There are three parts to the test. One part for people and families, one part for business, and one part for communities.

Part 1 - Families. Ted Turner calls and invites your family to dinner. You would:

1. Buy new clothes, bring a small gift, be punctual, and use your best manners.
2. Show up drunk and stoned 3 hours late while Ted and Jane hold dinner.
3. When you arrive, mutter a few words and hold a book to your face.
4. Run over his dog.

Ted Turner graciously offers his home when your truck stalls. You would:

1. Decline and stay in a motel.
2. Help with dishes and remake the bed with clean sheets in the morning.
3. Get drunk at the local bar and come in after it closes.
4. Bring your dogs in, destroy his shower, and demand to stay for a week anytime you want.

Part 2 - Business. Ted Turner reads your article and likes it so much he wants to e-mail a quick note of appreciation. You would:

1. Invite him to your next lecture and your house on the coast of Maine.
2. Immediately respond and gush about your work for 5 pages.
3. Only respond to the President and other heads of state.
4. Never give your e-mail address out so he has to put it in the little box on the feedback form of your Website.

Ted Turner begins work for your company and finds out he is not being paid what you promised. You would:

1. Apologize and fix the mistake with a little bonus.
2. Give him a company coffee mug instead of pay him.
3. Shout, "No one else ever complained!"
4. Ask why Jane can't get a job and make up for it.

Part 3 - Communities. Ted Turner asks the community if he can help in any way. You would:

1. Write it up in the newspaper and send it over Associated Press.
2. Accept and give him a broom.
3. Tell him you appreciate the nice gesture, but it's a little more complicated than that and besides, he talks funny.
4. Never respond to insolent time wasters.

Ted Turner issues an ingenious report showing how a school could easily and economically be saved from closing. You would:

1. Award him another Honorary Doctorate from the local college.
2. Fire him for not reporting what you wanted to hear.
3. Reduce his fee to fund school demolition.
4. Castrate his cat.

If you wouldn't treat Ted Turner badly, why would you treat your brother, neighbor, or co-worker badly? You don't want people to think your kindness can be bought, do you?

Is kindness an important part of your community? e-mail jb@redfly.com.

Copyright 1999 by Jeffrey C. Baston, NCARB, AIA